Friday, January 20, 2012

Ending Negative Talk

It's so easy to be negative. Is it because the world around us supports this habit so well or is it because of the unresolved thoughts and feelings we hold deep inside of our past.

Whatever the reason for it's creation within us, we can start to end it with the practice of speaking honestly and kindly (although working on letting go of old stories is equally important.)

In the moment of catching myself using negative words, even though I want to turn it around... I might find myself thinking,
"But I have nothing positive to say," or
"But what I am saying is TRUE," or
"I cant! I can't! I can't!"

Whatever the belief in the moment, taking a deep breath, we can begin again with new positive words. The ho'oponopono mantra works beautifully to start when you feel there is no where to start:
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
Thank you.

Steven Covey wrote in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families book about the art of "being loyal to those not present." I love this idea of only speaking of others as though they are in the room listening. Kindness and gentle honesty is a miracle to keeping our tongues working for peace.

I like to add to his idea and think of speaking to and about ourselves in the same manner. If we can imagine ourselves as separate and in the room listening to our negative self-talk, could we practice speaking kindly and honestly? I might try this... "Rain, I hear that you are saying some negative words about yourself, is there something you need to help you feel more loving?"

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Looking Back 2011

The time has come to begin blogging again. For better or for worse, it is time to come out and write authentically to save my own spirit. So here is my life last year in verse.

‘Twas a Year of Remodel and Right Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a carpenter was stirring, not even my spouse.
The stockings were hung over our new woodstove with care,
And everyone was thankful it was finally there.

The children were nestled all snug in their new beds,
Without drywall dust dancing in the air or their heads.
Papa not sneezing in his handkerchief, as I drank my nightcap,
We had just settled our brains that this was our LAST remodeling trap.

When out on the un-seeded lawn there arose such a clatter,
I threw down my drink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Trying not to trip over our moving box trash.

The moon was so bright on the new fallen snow,
Hiding the muddy mess from past workers and landscapers below.
When, what to my tired and blurry eyes should appear,
But two sweet little does and their mama, a deer.

Without the sound of compressors, hammers and nails,
The wildlife has come back to our home without fail.
More rapid than eagles- life is back into balance,
And it seems so surreal to notice the absence…

…Of Painters! Of Plumbers! Of Siders and Roofers!
No Electricians! No Carpenters! No Permit Inspectors!
From the top of the new porch, to the new shingled wall!
They’ve gone away! Gone away! Gone away all!

Now that our house is strong enough for a hurricane, I
No longer need to travel to Home Depot to buy.
In our sweet bungalow, by the fire I remember,
While 3 cords of construction wood-waste burns bright into embers.

I started to drink, when they delayed on the roof
Their lies and excuses just increased my proof.
The morning I was drinking Irish coffee and feeling housebound,
Down the painter came off the scaffold with a bound!

He was covered in paint, from his head to his shoe,
And my garden was all tarnished with #1647, Silvery Blue.
Their bundles of mistakes were a pain in my back,
And I looked like a mad-woman just trying to keep track.

Yet now the house twinkles! The shingles, how merry!
We added some roses and four trees, one a cherry!
For now every alteration, once drew up on paper,
Is something we love, though our dollars are vapor.

The music room lives large and has room for the teens,
And the expanded kitchen is perfect for the finest cuisines.
Adding a bathroom for guests made our home seem complete,
We now have a private bath and a romantic master suite.

Yes, it was crazy and stressful and put our lives on the shelf.
And we laughed watching nightly “Gags,” just to keep our good health.
In a blink of a black eye this year’s at an end,
Life soon will be normal, only the garden and children to tend.

We will share what we learned, then go back to our work,
And we will count all our blessings, without letting one lurk.
Remember to TRUST yourself, each other and the world,
It’s what will keep you moving forward, with your hearts open, unfurled.

Spring back to your life! To your friends and family, give a whistle,
For each and every moment is precious and special.
And hear us exclaim, ‘ere we end this long letter,
“Never Remodel Again And It Can Only Get Better!”

Thursday, September 17, 2009

This Moment

This moment is precious.
This moment is yours.
This moment has blessings.
This moment has cures.

This moment is sacred.
This moment is stillness.
This moment is silence.
This moment is forgiveness.

Taken for granted, this moment...
never gives us enough of man-made time.
However, this moment in your journey,
when noticed... is most perfect and kind.

So breathe... and notice
and see the wonder.
This moment can fill time and space
in your heart forever.

by Rain Fordyce

Sunday, September 13, 2009

30 days Raw!

Many of you know since I did the Peace Treaty on food, I started my raw food journey. During that time, I was reliant on my local deli and co-op that served a few raw food choices. I never learned to prepare anything fancy like pies, nut burgers or even almond milk. I was about 80-90% raw for about 3 months, feeling good, looking good, losing weight... until the stress hit: my husband decided to move to LA for a job.

Oh yeah, you guessed it! That was the end of that!

I was craving everything from cake to pizza and feeling the grounding, heavy, intoxicating joy from every bite. My life felt out of place and my food choices were a symptom of my internal chaos. I knew that the food I was eating was not making me feel good and yet, I didn't stop. For the first time in a very long time, I felt as though I was in the grasp of an addiction.

Then my husband returned to the northwest and we were not moving to LA after all. Within four days, my taste for cooked food weakened. I was ready to make a major change! I bought the book, 12 steps to Raw Food: How to end your dependancy on cooked food by Victoria Boutenko, which I highly recommend. I loved her thoughts, research and suggestions and I followed every one. I gave myself a corner of the kitchen for my raw food, my Vita-mix and food processor and two shelves in the refrigerator labeled "raw shelf."

I read every word with excitement and anticipation and within 3 days, I was inspired to make the choice to go 100% raw for 30 days.

As she honestly wrote in her book, the first week is most definitely the hardest, and oh was. I wanted my soothing pizza, I wanted to taste the pasta my kids loved so much. Yet, I kept going back to the book and got inspiration to stay on the path. Green smoothies were my mainstay the first week and I purchased the I Am Grateful: Cafe Gratitude recipe book (which I also highly recommend) and began collecting the ingredients I would need to begin learning raw food preparation. Once the week was coming to a close, began feeling the energy, and joy of the raw food and made my first nut burger recipe. And to my great surprise, it was easy and delicious!

The second week I began detox, but it wasn't as bad as the first time and I began an herbal cleanse immediately... which helped my symptoms soften in only two days. I found myself so intrigued by learning the ways of raw food, I decided to make something new every morning. I chose between something savory, sweet, green or dehydrated and found the joy of having a plethora of delicious and satifying food at my disposal... in fact, I had more than I could handle. So I began sharing my treats with whoever would try them (and some actually loved my creations!)

The third week I was getting ready for my trip to San Diego (where I am this fine morning) and I began prepping the food I would need for the 3 week journey. I packed up my Vita-mix, made what seemed like a million flax crackers, and put together a strategy to always have a fresh salad and nut burger daily. Note: Raw nut burger has become an important part of my staying raw and feeling satisfied. Although, I quit using the hard to digest soaked almonds and now use the easy-feeling sprouted sunflower seeds instead.

My fourth week was strange as being around others who love french fries, Mexican food and milkshakes (my kids) I honestly started dreaming about taking a bite... and in these dreams those bites were heavenly... I woke up knowing the truth, but geez! It really wasn't easy... However, I stayed true and I found success in my goal. I feel and look great and my energy is so high... actually, so am I!

Yahoo! 30 days, 100% raw!

Now is day 33 and I am so grateful to be on the first week of my next 30 day quest. If you have a yummy raw recipe or a joyful suggestion, please send it to

I would love to hear from you!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The Universe's Amazing Gift

So an update is long overdue...

It all happened when I made the decision to trust myself and ask the universe for what I truly wanted inside my heart and say it out loud for all the world to hear... including me.

I was at the cliffs (in the picture) a few blocks from our home. I knew it was time. My husband was in LA and our family was divided. Our life was not joyful 2 1/2 months after he moved down there. It was full of sadness, chaos and confusion. Was it my fault? Afterall, I made the vision board that had pictures of the beach and the sun. I was the one who carefully glued the picture of our family on top of a crowd of joyous people.

It was two weeks after creating my vision board that the universe responded, providing an amazing position for my husband in LA, resulting in our move. Last time I wrote we decided to live in Washington, while he commuted the long 4 hour car/airplane/taxi/ferry commute, each way, every 2 weeks, until we could figure it all out. Did I manifest this division?

My boys were tired of it. My husband was tired of it. I was tired of it, too. I was tired of allowing this path... so I came to the cliffs and with arms and heart open wide and with absolute resolute I shouted, "I want to stay here!"

It wasn't long after that statement that everything started to shift. A kindred spirit and neighbor came over and we agreed to destroy the vision board I had created together in a heartfelt grateful burning ceremony. When I took the photo of our family off the board before the burning, underneath were these words:

Turning It Around

We both began to cry. We knew this was the end of this part of my journey. But when... and how? The response came swifter than I could imagine!

Within a week, my husband called and told me the job they promised him was not going to happen as they had promised and he was done working for them. He said he was leaving. He was home 3 days later.

We laughed, we cried and we celebrated! Yet, our move was already in progress. We had already rented a very small house that was an hour closer to the airport and we had rented out the house we were currently living in. We sat with our choices. There was nothing else in our small town big enough for our family of four available to rent. We decided to leave our dear town and move into the house an hour away that we had put our deposit on. Our plans were in motion and we didn't know how to stop it. So we floated down it's stream. We never expected what would happen next.

3 days from the day when my husband returned, we received a call from our landlord... She told us the man who was going to rent our home had a personal emergency, and though he was okay, he decided to not rent our home afterall! She asked if we wanted to stay. So much had shifted. It seems strange now, but so much had happened so quickly. I needed time to think. Time to process. Time to breathe...

After a day of processing everything that had happened, we both decided that we had gotten the gift that I had asked for and we were all so grateful to receive it!

We are staying put! No move, no shift away from what we are growing here in this small and beautiful town and, best of all, an amazing gift to find ourselves back on a loving course, living together...

And it was all given to us from the abundant and amazing universe.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Living with Temporary

It is amazing to me how many times in my life I walked (and sometimes sprinted) away from commitment. Those who have known me a very long time, know that in the past I have changed my mind a whole heck of a lot. Trying to make commitments in the past were often just a waste of my breath.

However, as I have connected with my authentic path, my choices feel deeper, more concrete based on my real values and not based on whims or what I think I should be doing. I really know what I want in life, what I value and am strongly connected to what feels right for me.

Yet that is only the path of one.

Learning to co-create with my partner has been the next leg of my authentic journey. With differing values, wants and perspectives, we have taken the last few months to get to know each other's true values and use them as a foundation to be creative and explore all of our options to find a solution to where we want to live and raise our family.

Since my husband got a dream job in Hollywood, we were set to move to LA, but soon afterwards, I realized this move was not congruent with my journey. So we began our discussions of what to do next. He didn't want to leave his project and I didn't want to leave the northwest.

After exhaustive discusions, long housing and neighborhood searches and connecting with our inner clarity, we have decided to continue to live in a state of temporary.

Yes, I know, all of life is temporary, but some choices are much shorter versions of temporary, while others are longer. The truth was, I was hoping for the longer version, but the universe has guided us and mysteriously gifted us with the perfect place to stay temporary over the next 6 months.

So I am pleased to announce that we have made the commitment to make a temporary choice.

Life is a complex web of choices and possibilities. The more your mind opens to them, the more complicated it is to sort through the data. Focus on your values and you might just find the solution to your most tangled challenges. Yes, it can be done, even when we are co-creating our reality with someone who values are not the same as yours. Yes, it CAN be done!

I am pleased that we are both choosing what we love, even if it is temporary, for that is where we will find our greatest joy... right here... right now.

Smiles and blessings,

Thursday, July 16, 2009

An answer to Jude of where we are now...

Blogger JudeEastman~LifeCoach said...

OK--I'm a little behind from enjoying my rewarding-relaxing Big Island vacation.

Aren't you one of those people in my life that told me when the fear creeps in and we start to doubt our decisions or that we can "do it" that we are just about to make great strides forward and to keep the faith?

Not to say I know what's best for you and your family--The decision will come with crystal clarity whether to stay or go. All the plans already made don't matter at that point-Remember, "It's a brand new day at that point."

Love you Rain--this may all be a moot point by now.


Thank you Jude :)

Yes, when fear creeps in, you can move forward and do it.

Only, this is not about fear. This is about not knowing what we truly want together.

We are talking about where we want to live and raise our children and make a living and what lifestyle we really want... and at what price.

I have to admit it has been a painful and amazingly expansive time. My husband and I are really getting to really know each other and our true values while we put the pieces together. It is amazing at how much you can still learn about each other after 13 years.

As of today, there are no decisions yet. We are just looking at what we would love to do and see if there is a possibility to co-create something new out of what we each love (which is very different) and happily put energy into it for the next few years.

I have faith that with this amazing man and our creative spirits we will design something perfect for us and our family.

Thank you for the opportunity to clarify where we are at.

Blessings to you today.
your friend,

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Day 2 Emergency Plan

What do you do when the worst possible thing happens?
Do you allow yourself time to grieve, feel, process and regroup?

What do you do when you are fearful of the worst possible thing happening if you take a risk?
Do you spend every moment worrying, feeling unable to move and feeling the tension in your body?

I have a process that works for both called the
Day 2 Emergency Plan.

Here is how it works:

Write down the worst possible scenario that could happen if you take the risk you wish to take, or if the worst has already happened, acknowledge what has happened out loud to yourself or a very good friend.

Next write down your emergency plan which always starts on Day 1 with the most awesome pity party you have ever known. Write down the ways you will take care of YOU. On your actual Day 1, allow yourself to choose to do whatever you really want to do. Take a wellness day from work if possible. This includes wearing your favorite pajammas, eating whatever you want, buying yourself ease by take out, a babysitter and whatever else can give you time, buying yourself some flowers, a sad rental movie (allow yourself to cry, cry and cry some more) and a large box of dark chocolate. Spoil yourself with a day of extreme comfort.
Also make sure you give yourself extreme self care; take a nap, wear a favorite blanket (and feel a universal hug,) smell flowers, drink herbal tea, drink water whenever you can, take a nice slow walk outside and sit in a comfortable sunny spot, if you have it. Make no decisions about tomorrow, just feel, breathe and be.

Day 2 is a day to get back on your feet. Write out a plan of what you will do to take a step forward toward living your goals again. It might look like this:
  • Take a shower
  • Get dressed in successful clothes for the day
  • Eat a healthy breakfast
  • Brush teeth
  • Return movie
  • Give chocolates to a friend
  • Make the calls you need to make
  • Take at least one small step towards living the life you truly want
  • Acknowledge your feelings and your courage
If the worst has sprung upon you, it is easy to make this list the morning of Day 2. Don't worry about it or work on it Day 1. Then use it throughout the day to move forward towards living. Don't underestimate the power of taking small steps, such as taking a shower. Any step, no matter how small is a step and is taking you where you want to be.

If you are prewriting your Day 2 Emergency Plan, tuck it away in your safe, your drawer, by your fire extinguisher or in your first aid kit. Know you have your plan, so there is no need to think about what will happen, just move forward anyway.

After all, it's when we move forward that our lives become the dreams we truly want. It is important to take breaks along the journey of your authentic trail to breathe and process. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is allow a whole day to acknowledge our humanness, while knowing we will get back up tomorrow, we aren't giving up...
we are just giving ourselves a gift of love.

Dedicated to all my friends who reached out to me when I needed it most....

Monday, June 29, 2009

Finding Strength and Courage

Sometimes life can take you in a new direction
when you really don't want to.
You may feel lost, discouraged, fearful and broken-hearted.

Keep breathing...
In fact, your instinct is to hold your breath until it's over,
so choosing to breathe can be extremely healing.

When you feel there is no reason to...
breathe in big.

Inhale as you imagine that you are breathing in life itself.
The good the bad.
The exciting and scary.
The known and unknown.
What you can control and what you can't.

Breathe deeply today...
take in everything life has offer and you will find
your strength and courage renewed.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

It's 1:30 in the morning...

For the life of me, I can't sleep...
So much has been going on.

First the job in LA.
Then the plans to move to LA.
Then the incredible sadness of leaving WA.
Then the thought of maybe staying here in WA.
Then my husband thinking maybe staying here is the best thing for the kids.
Playing with the idea.

I guess the question is, 'What do we really want?'
My husband and I are famous for the inability to make decisions and then making huge sweeping decisions at the last minute.

Every Sunday is our 'So what do we want to do with our life?' day. This has gone on for 13 years. We have talked for hours while drinking way too much.
First it was bloody marys.
Then it was mimosas.
Then it was coffee.
Now I drink tea... sometimes, while my husband continues his love of coffee.

We have thought about all the possibilities for our life. We have explored all the wild choices this life has to offer. We think about our sweet boys and the impact of our decisions. We think about what we most desire. We write lists.
On white boards.
On notepads.
On the computer.
On napkins.

We enjoy the highs of making wild decisions.
When we actually and finally make them.
Then there is the maintenance of these decisions.

With the exception of our decision to be together and our decision to be parents.
We don't tend to be great at the maintenance part.

There is just always another decision waiting around the corner to think about.
This time instead of going for the big sweeping decision, I wait...
I wait...
I wait...
until the answer is either yes or no...

and here I am at 1:40 in the morning, sitting in my big, comfy chair, with my soft, warm blanket and I am just waiting...
Until I finally decide to go to bed.