Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Day 2 Emergency Plan

What do you do when the worst possible thing happens?
Do you allow yourself time to grieve, feel, process and regroup?

What do you do when you are fearful of the worst possible thing happening if you take a risk?
Do you spend every moment worrying, feeling unable to move and feeling the tension in your body?

I have a process that works for both called the
Day 2 Emergency Plan.

Here is how it works:

Write down the worst possible scenario that could happen if you take the risk you wish to take, or if the worst has already happened, acknowledge what has happened out loud to yourself or a very good friend.

Next write down your emergency plan which always starts on Day 1 with the most awesome pity party you have ever known. Write down the ways you will take care of YOU. On your actual Day 1, allow yourself to choose to do whatever you really want to do. Take a wellness day from work if possible. This includes wearing your favorite pajammas, eating whatever you want, buying yourself ease by take out, a babysitter and whatever else can give you time, buying yourself some flowers, a sad rental movie (allow yourself to cry, cry and cry some more) and a large box of dark chocolate. Spoil yourself with a day of extreme comfort.
Also make sure you give yourself extreme self care; take a nap, wear a favorite blanket (and feel a universal hug,) smell flowers, drink herbal tea, drink water whenever you can, take a nice slow walk outside and sit in a comfortable sunny spot, if you have it. Make no decisions about tomorrow, just feel, breathe and be.

Day 2 is a day to get back on your feet. Write out a plan of what you will do to take a step forward toward living your goals again. It might look like this:
  • Take a shower
  • Get dressed in successful clothes for the day
  • Eat a healthy breakfast
  • Brush teeth
  • Return movie
  • Give chocolates to a friend
  • Make the calls you need to make
  • Take at least one small step towards living the life you truly want
  • Acknowledge your feelings and your courage
If the worst has sprung upon you, it is easy to make this list the morning of Day 2. Don't worry about it or work on it Day 1. Then use it throughout the day to move forward towards living. Don't underestimate the power of taking small steps, such as taking a shower. Any step, no matter how small is a step and is taking you where you want to be.

If you are prewriting your Day 2 Emergency Plan, tuck it away in your safe, your drawer, by your fire extinguisher or in your first aid kit. Know you have your plan, so there is no need to think about what will happen, just move forward anyway.

After all, it's when we move forward that our lives become the dreams we truly want. It is important to take breaks along the journey of your authentic trail to breathe and process. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is allow a whole day to acknowledge our humanness, while knowing we will get back up tomorrow, we aren't giving up...
we are just giving ourselves a gift of love.

Dedicated to all my friends who reached out to me when I needed it most....

Monday, June 29, 2009

Finding Strength and Courage

Sometimes life can take you in a new direction
when you really don't want to.
You may feel lost, discouraged, fearful and broken-hearted.

Keep breathing...
In fact, your instinct is to hold your breath until it's over,
so choosing to breathe can be extremely healing.

When you feel there is no reason to...
breathe in big.

Inhale as you imagine that you are breathing in life itself.
The good the bad.
The exciting and scary.
The known and unknown.
What you can control and what you can't.

Breathe deeply today...
take in everything life has offer and you will find
your strength and courage renewed.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

It's 1:30 in the morning...

For the life of me, I can't sleep...
So much has been going on.

First the job in LA.
Then the plans to move to LA.
Then the incredible sadness of leaving WA.
Then the thought of maybe staying here in WA.
Then my husband thinking maybe staying here is the best thing for the kids.
Playing with the idea.

I guess the question is, 'What do we really want?'
My husband and I are famous for the inability to make decisions and then making huge sweeping decisions at the last minute.

Every Sunday is our 'So what do we want to do with our life?' day. This has gone on for 13 years. We have talked for hours while drinking way too much.
First it was bloody marys.
Then it was mimosas.
Then it was coffee.
Now I drink tea... sometimes, while my husband continues his love of coffee.

We have thought about all the possibilities for our life. We have explored all the wild choices this life has to offer. We think about our sweet boys and the impact of our decisions. We think about what we most desire. We write lists.
On white boards.
On notepads.
On the computer.
On napkins.

We enjoy the highs of making wild decisions.
When we actually and finally make them.
Then there is the maintenance of these decisions.

With the exception of our decision to be together and our decision to be parents.
We don't tend to be great at the maintenance part.

There is just always another decision waiting around the corner to think about.
This time instead of going for the big sweeping decision, I wait...
I wait...
I wait...
until the answer is either yes or no...

and here I am at 1:40 in the morning, sitting in my big, comfy chair, with my soft, warm blanket and I am just waiting...
Until I finally decide to go to bed.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Love and Feeling ALIVE

Do you ever just love feeling LOVE? It is such a gift.

It opens your heart to the elements.
You feel electricity.
You feel vulnerable and excited.
You feel warmth and beating explosions.
You feel buzzing in your veins.

Everything is YES!
Everything is POSSIBILITY!

That is how I feel when I think of my husband. My greatest spiritual teacher, my greatest friend, my thrilling experiment in co-creation.

We have been through so much, we test each other, we push the limits.

He is so beautiful, so lovely and fulfills my life in ways I never would have experienced without him.

As we take the next few steps together to try the unknown, to see what we are capable of, I know that no matter what happens...
I am so grateful for my life with him.

The good, the challenging and most of all, the explosions of feeling ALIVE!