Living with Temporary

It is amazing to me how many times in my life I walked (and sometimes sprinted) away from commitment. Those who have known me a very long time, know that in the past I have changed my mind a whole heck of a lot. Trying to make commitments in the past were often just a waste of my breath.

However, as I have connected with my authentic path, my choices feel deeper, more concrete based on my real values and not based on whims or what I think I should be doing. I really know what I want in life, what I value and am strongly connected to what feels right for me.

Yet that is only the path of one.

Learning to co-create with my partner has been the next leg of my authentic journey. With differing values, wants and perspectives, we have taken the last few months to get to know each other's true values and use them as a foundation to be creative and explore all of our options to find a solution to where we want to live and raise our family.

Since my husband got a dream job in Hollywood, we were set to move to LA, but soon afterwards, I realized this move was not congruent with my journey. So we began our discussions of what to do next. He didn't want to leave his project and I didn't want to leave the northwest.

After exhaustive discusions, long housing and neighborhood searches and connecting with our inner clarity, we have decided to continue to live in a state of temporary.

Yes, I know, all of life is temporary, but some choices are much shorter versions of temporary, while others are longer. The truth was, I was hoping for the longer version, but the universe has guided us and mysteriously gifted us with the perfect place to stay temporary over the next 6 months.

So I am pleased to announce that we have made the commitment to make a temporary choice.

Life is a complex web of choices and possibilities. The more your mind opens to them, the more complicated it is to sort through the data. Focus on your values and you might just find the solution to your most tangled challenges. Yes, it can be done, even when we are co-creating our reality with someone who values are not the same as yours. Yes, it CAN be done!

I am pleased that we are both choosing what we love, even if it is temporary, for that is where we will find our greatest joy... right here... right now.

Smiles and blessings,
Rain

Day 2 Emergency Plan

What do you do when the worst possible thing happens?
Do you allow yourself time to grieve, feel, process and regroup?

What do you do when you are fearful of the worst possible thing happening if you take a risk?
Do you spend every moment worrying, feeling unable to move and feeling the tension in your body?

I have a process that works for both called the
Day 2 Emergency Plan.

Here is how it works:

Write down the worst possible scenario that could happen if you take the risk you wish to take, or if the worst has already happened, acknowledge what has happened out loud to yourself or a very good friend.

Next write down your emergency plan which always starts on Day 1 with the most awesome pity party you have ever known. Write down the ways you will take care of YOU. On your actual Day 1, allow yourself to choose to do whatever you really want to do. Take a wellness day from work if possible. This includes wearing your favorite pajammas, eating whatever you want, buying yourself ease by take out, a babysitter and whatever else can give you time, buying yourself some flowers, a sad rental movie (allow yourself to cry, cry and cry some more) and a large box of dark chocolate. Spoil yourself with a day of extreme comfort.
Also make sure you give yourself extreme self care; take a nap, wear a favorite blanket (and feel a universal hug,) smell flowers, drink herbal tea, drink water whenever you can, take a nice slow walk outside and sit in a comfortable sunny spot, if you have it. Make no decisions about tomorrow, just feel, breathe and be.

Day 2 is a day to get back on your feet. Write out a plan of what you will do to take a step forward toward living your goals again. It might look like this:

• Take a shower
• Get dressed in successful clothes for the day
• Eat a healthy breakfast
• Brush teeth
  
• Return movie
• Give chocolates to a friend
• Make the calls you need to make
• Take at least one small step towards living the life you truly want
  
• Acknowledge your feelings and your courage
  

If the worst has sprung upon you, it is easy to make this list the morning of Day 2. Don't worry about it or work on it Day 1. Then use it throughout the day to move forward towards living. Don't underestimate the power of taking small steps, such as taking a shower. Any step, no matter how small is a step and is taking you where you want to be.

If you are prewriting your Day 2 Emergency Plan, tuck it away in your safe, your drawer, by your fire extinguisher or in your first aid kit. Know you have your plan, so there is no need to think about what will happen, just move forward anyway.

After all, it's when we move forward that our lives become the dreams we truly want. It is important to take breaks along the journey of your authentic trail to breathe and process. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is allow a whole day to acknowledge our humanness, while knowing we will get back up tomorrow, we aren't giving up...
we are just giving ourselves a gift of love.


Dedicated to all my friends who reached out to me when I needed it most....