Whatever the reason for it's creation within us, we can start to end it with the practice of speaking honestly and kindly (although working on letting go of old stories is equally important.)
In the moment of catching myself using negative words, even though I want to turn it around... I might find myself thinking,
"But I have nothing positive to say," or
"But what I am saying is TRUE," or
"I cant! I can't! I can't!"
Whatever the belief in the moment, taking a deep breath, we can begin again with new positive words. The ho'oponopono mantra works beautifully to start when you feel there is no where to start:
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
Steven Covey wrote in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families book about the art of "being loyal to those not present." I love this idea of only speaking of others as though they are in the room listening. Kindness and gentle honesty is a miracle to keeping our tongues working for peace.
I like to add to his idea and think of speaking to and about ourselves in the same manner. If we can imagine ourselves as separate and in the room listening to our negative self-talk, could we practice speaking kindly and honestly? I might try this... "Rain, I hear that you are saying some negative words about yourself, is there something you need to help you feel more loving?"