Living with Temporary

It is amazing to me how many times in my life I walked (and sometimes sprinted) away from commitment. Those who have known me a very long time, know that in the past I have changed my mind a whole heck of a lot. Trying to make commitments in the past were often just a waste of my breath.

However, as I have connected with my authentic path, my choices feel deeper, more concrete based on my real values and not based on whims or what I think I should be doing. I really know what I want in life, what I value and am strongly connected to what feels right for me.

Yet that is only the path of one.

Learning to co-create with my partner has been the next leg of my authentic journey. With differing values, wants and perspectives, we have taken the last few months to get to know each other's true values and use them as a foundation to be creative and explore all of our options to find a solution to where we want to live and raise our family.

Since my husband got a dream job in Hollywood, we were set to move to LA, but soon afterwards, I realized this move was not congruent with my journey. So we began our discussions of what to do next. He didn't want to leave his project and I didn't want to leave the northwest.

After exhaustive discusions, long housing and neighborhood searches and connecting with our inner clarity, we have decided to continue to live in a state of temporary.

Yes, I know, all of life is temporary, but some choices are much shorter versions of temporary, while others are longer. The truth was, I was hoping for the longer version, but the universe has guided us and mysteriously gifted us with the perfect place to stay temporary over the next 6 months.

So I am pleased to announce that we have made the commitment to make a temporary choice.

Life is a complex web of choices and possibilities. The more your mind opens to them, the more complicated it is to sort through the data. Focus on your values and you might just find the solution to your most tangled challenges. Yes, it can be done, even when we are co-creating our reality with someone who values are not the same as yours. Yes, it CAN be done!

I am pleased that we are both choosing what we love, even if it is temporary, for that is where we will find our greatest joy... right here... right now.

Smiles and blessings,
Rain

An answer to Jude of where we are now...

JudeEastman~LifeCoach said...

OK--I'm a little behind from enjoying my rewarding-relaxing Big Island vacation.

Aren't you one of those people in my life that told me when the fear creeps in and we start to doubt our decisions or that we can "do it" that we are just about to make great strides forward and to keep the faith?

Not to say I know what's best for you and your family--The decision will come with crystal clarity whether to stay or go. All the plans already made don't matter at that point-Remember, "It's a brand new day at that point."

Love you Rain--this may all be a moot point by now.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thank you Jude :)

Yes, when fear creeps in, you can move forward and do it.

Only, this is not about fear. This is about not knowing what we truly want together.

We are talking about where we want to live and raise our children and make a living and what lifestyle we really want... and at what price.

I have to admit it has been a painful and amazingly expansive time. My husband and I are really getting to really know each other and our true values while we put the pieces together. It is amazing at how much you can still learn about each other after 13 years.

As of today, there are no decisions yet. We are just looking at what we would love to do and see if there is a possibility to co-create something new out of what we each love (which is very different) and happily put energy into it for the next few years.

I have faith that with this amazing man and our creative spirits we will design something perfect for us and our family.

Thank you for the opportunity to clarify where we are at.

Blessings to you today.
your friend,
Rain

It's 1:30 in the morning...

For the life of me, I can't sleep...
So much has been going on.

First the job in LA.
Then the plans to move to LA.
Then the incredible sadness of leaving WA.
Then the thought of maybe staying here in WA.
Then my husband thinking maybe staying here is the best thing for the kids.
Playing with the idea.

I guess the question is, 'What do we really want?'
My husband and I are famous for the inability to make decisions and then making huge sweeping decisions at the last minute.

Every Sunday is our 'So what do we want to do with our life?' day. This has gone on for 13 years. We have talked for hours while drinking way too much.
First it was bloody marys.
Then it was mimosas.
Then it was coffee.
Now I drink tea... sometimes, while my husband continues his love of coffee.

We have thought about all the possibilities for our life. We have explored all the wild choices this life has to offer. We think about our sweet boys and the impact of our decisions. We think about what we most desire. We write lists.
On white boards.
On notepads.
On the computer.
On napkins.

We enjoy the highs of making wild decisions.
When we actually and finally make them.
Then there is the maintenance of these decisions.

With the exception of our decision to be together and our decision to be parents.
We don't tend to be great at the maintenance part.

There is just always another decision waiting around the corner to think about.
This time instead of going for the big sweeping decision, I wait...
I wait...
I wait...
until the answer is either yes or no...

and here I am at 1:40 in the morning, sitting in my big, comfy chair, with my soft, warm blanket and I am just waiting...
Until I finally decide to go to bed.

When Life Changes, Wait on Decisions

Now that we are in motion for the upcoming move 1150 miles south of here, I am amazed as new thoughts, feelings, and decisions come into my view. It is so easy to get caught up in the drama, and it is just as easy to stay out of it. All of the upcoming decisions we have to make could be an easy source for stress and drama. You think and think and think into the future and wonder what is the best choice to make. I have done that in my life and I have learned an important key to keeping it simple:

Making decisions in the present time is the best time to make them!

Otherwise, the stress begins to form because you are making decisions without all the real time information. Soon, your mind will create false information to fill in the blanks until you reach that point in time, and you end up making pre-decisions based on assumption.

Let me give you an example:
One of the most common questions I get is, "Where are you going to move to in Los Angeles?" Since I have never lived there I do not have an honest answer to that. And if I did know the area, what if the kind of home we want isn't available at the time of our move?

This is where being in the here and now is such a gift during life changes. I know where I will live, because I will be faced with a home we have looked at in an area I feel good in. The decision will be there... in that moment. And there is only 2 choices to make, yes or no.

When faced with a yes or no decision in the moment life is happening, it is so much easier to look at all the information you have up until that point, trust your inner guidance and move forward with your decision.

Decisions no longer become long month or year long dramas, they simply are moments in your life. The best part is how much more time it gives me here in the northwest, where I am currently making decisions for the upcoming birthday party of my soon-to-be-8 year old.

That is right now and that is where I love to live.