Tuesday, May 26, 2009

When Life Changes, Wait on Decisions

Now that we are in motion for the upcoming move 1150 miles south of here, I am amazed as new thoughts, feelings, and decisions come into my view. It is so easy to get caught up in the drama, and it is just as easy to stay out of it. All of the upcoming decisions we have to make could be an easy source for stress and drama. You think and think and think into the future and wonder what is the best choice to make. I have done that in my life and I have learned an important key to keeping it simple:

Making decisions in the present time is the best time to make them!

Otherwise, the stress begins to form because you are making decisions without all the real time information. Soon, your mind will create false information to fill in the blanks until you reach that point in time, and you end up making pre-decisions based on assumption.

Let me give you an example:
One of the most common questions I get is, "Where are you going to move to in Los Angeles?" Since I have never lived there I do not have an honest answer to that. And if I did know the area, what if the kind of home we want isn't available at the time of our move?

This is where being in the here and now is such a gift during life changes. I know where I will live, because I will be faced with a home we have looked at in an area I feel good in. The decision will be there... in that moment. And there is only 2 choices to make, yes or no.

When faced with a yes or no decision in the moment life is happening, it is so much easier to look at all the information you have up until that point, trust your inner guidance and move forward with your decision.

Decisions no longer become long month or year long dramas, they simply are moments in your life. The best part is how much more time it gives me here in the northwest, where I am currently making decisions for the upcoming birthday party of my soon-to-be-8 year old.

That is right now and that is where I love to live.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

So many emotions, so little time...

Since the big news, and taking steps towards leaving (selling the boat, buying another hybrid car, renting the house, having a going away party for Charlie) I have been having a lot of emotions. I have been:

These feelings seem to come moment to moment. Instead of trying to keep a smile on my face and continue to tell myself everything is going to be okay, I am allowing the feelings to come and show themselves. I may be excited one minute, cry the next, smile after that, then talk about my fears and about missing our life here in the northwest.

I notice that there are so many passing emotions, thoughts and reactions, and since I am not holding any judgments to them, they are passing by in seconds. I am not attaching who I am to what I feel.

So many of us are afraid of being authentic and feeling what we are feeling in the moment for fear it will grow into something too big to handle. When you allow your feelings without judging yourself afterward, you let go of the story and there is no drama or analysis... it just is.

For example, when I talk about my fear of dealing with the high population of a big city, I don't attach the judgments "I am a big baby!" "Why do you say such ridiculous things?" "You will never be able to handle all the noise, you can't handle anything!" or "You have to figure out a way to stop this move!"

Instead, I just notice the feeling of fear. Recognize it as normal and natural and feel it. When the fear seems to take on physical pain, I stop what I am doing and feel it even deeper. Let it come through me like a shock wave. Once I do, I notice it leave me. I watch it dissipate.

If I go with the stories and judgments, I get caught up in another reality. The reality in my head, instead of my heart. Our thoughts can take over and prolong the suffering of emotions. We make our feelings more important than the moment and watch the story go on for a full length movie or even a mini-series or life-long soap opera.

If you begin to notice a story taking over, just take a deep breath to create a break in the action. Go into your body and feel what is happening in there. Let go of your thoughts and stay with the feelings in the now.

The here and now is where you will find freedom. For that is all we have.

Everything else is purely for entertainment purposes only.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

New Move... Big Changes!

It's time to share with you all what is going on at home here.

While I was innocently on my 2-week non-computer retreat, my husband went out and used his amazing energy to find an opportunity and his dream job.

As I was driving home with the kids and only 4 hours to go from the sunny beaches in Santa Cruz, he shared the news. "We're moving to Hollywood!"

Yes, after living and very much loving the northwest for the past 13 years, we are moving from our small town of only 10,000 residence to Los Angeles, CA one of the biggest cities in the US with a population of 3,834,340! (and that is just in the city's huge limits, the county limits is almost to 10 million!) It is something to wrap our brains around...

It has been a few days with a whirlwind of amazing connections, flow and ease...
The kids are excited.
My husband is excited.
Even I am excited.

There are a few things that are keeping me on Rescue Remedy:
1. My husband is leaving soon... next week and will be down there 3 months before we all move down officially. Even though he will be visiting us and we will come down to visit him, this will be the longest my husband and I have been apart since we have met.

2. Leaving the cool, beautiful and green forest we live in to be in the small dry plots and high population of the hot and sunny city. The trails, the quiet, the serenity of living here is such a gift. My kids love to play in the woods and build forts and create games of amazing outdoor invention. It will be serious culture shock!

3. Smog. I have always been sensitive to it and I love the clean air on the coast of the northwest. There will be a huge adjustment here of relaxing and letting go...

4. Safety. I know there is no such thing as real security... but we don't have dangerous parts of town around here. I let my 10-year old walk to town (an hour long walk) with a friend without worry. This will also be a huge shift and I am actually curious to see how I feel when I am there. Right now, I can't imagine it.

The truth is, those are the only stresses for us as we look towards this new adventure! So we have decided to go for it. We have decided to move to Los Angeles.

My husband will be working in Hollywood, where he can see premeres for new movies right across the street. Where will we actually move to and live? Well I just don't know for sure yet....
If you know of a family friendly, relatively quiet neighborhood that won't be a huge commute from Hollywood.... put your vote in here!

Meanwhile what does this mean for Authentic Times, Inc.?
I will be slowing down for awhile (I guess that is why I was on retreat...) I will still be coaching, editing and doing the peace treaty classes, just less of it as we transition through the move.

Here is to change, courage and our new adventure!!!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Back From Retreat!

Wow! I not only was off the computer for a week, I was off for TWO!

So needless to say, it went really well...
It took me a couple of days of fighting my impulse to turn on my computer. Soon I felt like I really didn't want to turn my computer on ever again!

So I met with my amazing coach... took a few more days to reconnect with what I was really feeling and it that is when it hit me like a bouquet of Mother's Day flowers!

I was ready to turn on, but in my own way and at my own speed...

Yes, I had almost 600 emails when I returned (I will get back to you, I promise :)
Yes, there is a lot to catch up on.
Yes, the web spun without me.
Yes, I am so grateful!
This is how I feel:
Getting back to work feels freeing and fun!
Thank you all for your beautiful support!

I thought about where my business is headed and where I want to go, and I feel ready to take those steps, clearly and with purpose!

What did I take away from this experience?

Trust yourself... even when you think you know better!