Wednesday, June 11, 2008

One Week and the Lessons Keep Coming!

I look at my calendar and realize Launch Date is only one week away!
Do we have everything in place?

Yes, in fact, we have been ready for the past few days. We are just sipping margaritas in the sun, while the Summer Solstice comes to remind us to launch our perfect site!

Now for the real, or should I say, authentic answer. We are so far from being close, that we are working into the night and morning, every day. Excitement is high. Joy is coming in giant spurts.

On top of that my sweet 6 year old boy is turning 7 tomorrow and in my SAHM fashion, I couldn't resist, but to throw a huge birthday extravaganza! Too much on my plate? That is a great question, and the answer feels too big. It just isn't easy letting go of the ideas I had when I was a SAHM that a birthday party was huge deal. The fact is, I have always loved throwing parties. It meant planning and creating and gathering friends. I suppose that is what I have been doing with this website.

All working mothers must ask the question, how do you change your rhythm and find 5 extra hours in a day? My husband is doing a phenomenal job trying to take over some of the work I used to do. However, when my younger son got hurt yesterday, I was in trouble by both of my sons for letting my husband try to comfort him without me. My older son, came downstairs about 4 or 5 minutes later and announced, "Where were you? He needs you!" When I came up, my husband gave me a look that said, What else could I have done? "You are doing a great job," I try to encourage him, "it's just that this has been my job for the last 10 years."

Choosing to unschool/homeschool is something that is a way of life to us, and yet, we haven't found that time in the last week or two to help with projects. I already have told the kids that, except for the birthday party, expect mom to be really busy the next week. They already cook for themselves, and yesterday they cleaned the house, I suppose they will figure out how to find ways to move forward with their projects, without our help for another week.

This is going to be an adjustment for all of us, now that mommy is working.

I am less than 50 emails away from my launching goal of 100 women subscribers to start the Magazine with. I am still looking for more writers, recipes, and artists to fill the pages with other creative voices. (This might be a hint for you!) I am also trying to get the word out there about our launch date in creative ways.

My graphics are still being entered and functions are not all ready for action. Launching in one week? NO PROBLEM! I feel like those guys who, when remodeling our home, would look into my eyes of hope and tell me, no problem, we will get it done. Of course, that never actually happened. Not once. Have I become one of those guys?

So I breathe, I open myself up to the universe and say, I am here and ready to work. Show me what and where, and I will work. I will do my best to remember to kiss my kids and husband, sleep, exercise, drink water, and have moments of silence. I have always done what others have told me what I am supposed to, and now something has shifted. I am the one who is supposed to know the what and where. I am the head contractor of this building site. I am supposed to have the answers and make final decisions. Yet, I still call my girlfriends for advice and help and last minute ideas. I wish I had a big company. I would just call a meeting of staff to brainstorm these final decisions. But I don't, and it really comes down to me. What do I want? What is the creative force inside of me wanting to create? And the wisdom comes down as, if you knew you could not fail, what would you love to do right now?

It is up to the confidence in my choices again.

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