The Universe's Amazing Gift

So an update is long overdue...

It all happened when I made the decision to trust myself and ask the universe for what I truly wanted inside my heart and say it out loud for all the world to hear... including me.

I was at the cliffs (in the picture) a few blocks from our home. I knew it was time. My husband was in LA and our family was divided. Our life was not joyful 2 1/2 months after he moved down there. It was full of sadness, chaos and confusion. Was it my fault? Afterall, I made the vision board that had pictures of the beach and the sun. I was the one who carefully glued the picture of our family on top of a crowd of joyous people.

It was two weeks after creating my vision board that the universe responded, providing an amazing position for my husband in LA, resulting in our move. Last time I wrote we decided to live in Washington, while he commuted the long 4 hour car/airplane/taxi/ferry commute, each way, every 2 weeks, until we could figure it all out. Did I manifest this division?

My boys were tired of it. My husband was tired of it. I was tired of it, too. I was tired of allowing this path... so I came to the cliffs and with arms and heart open wide and with absolute resolute I shouted, "I want to stay here!"

It wasn't long after that statement that everything started to shift. A kindred spirit and neighbor came over and we agreed to destroy the vision board I had created together in a heartfelt grateful burning ceremony. When I took the photo of our family off the board before the burning, underneath were these words:

Turning It Around

We both began to cry. We knew this was the end of this part of my journey. But when... and how? The response came swifter than I could imagine!

Within a week, my husband called and told me the job they promised him was not going to happen as they had promised and he was done working for them. He said he was leaving. He was home 3 days later.

We laughed, we cried and we celebrated! Yet, our move was already in progress. We had already rented a very small house that was an hour closer to the airport and we had rented out the house we were currently living in. We sat with our choices. There was nothing else in our small town big enough for our family of four available to rent. We decided to leave our dear town and move into the house an hour away that we had put our deposit on. Our plans were in motion and we didn't know how to stop it. So we floated down it's stream. We never expected what would happen next.

3 days from the day when my husband returned, we received a call from our landlord... She told us the man who was going to rent our home had a personal emergency, and though he was okay, he decided to not rent our home afterall! She asked if we wanted to stay. So much had shifted. It seems strange now, but so much had happened so quickly. I needed time to think. Time to process. Time to breathe...

After a day of processing everything that had happened, we both decided that we had gotten the gift that I had asked for and we were all so grateful to receive it!

We are staying put! No move, no shift away from what we are growing here in this small and beautiful town and, best of all, an amazing gift to find ourselves back on a loving course, living together...

And it was all given to us from the abundant and amazing universe.

Living with Temporary

It is amazing to me how many times in my life I walked (and sometimes sprinted) away from commitment. Those who have known me a very long time, know that in the past I have changed my mind a whole heck of a lot. Trying to make commitments in the past were often just a waste of my breath.

However, as I have connected with my authentic path, my choices feel deeper, more concrete based on my real values and not based on whims or what I think I should be doing. I really know what I want in life, what I value and am strongly connected to what feels right for me.

Yet that is only the path of one.

Learning to co-create with my partner has been the next leg of my authentic journey. With differing values, wants and perspectives, we have taken the last few months to get to know each other's true values and use them as a foundation to be creative and explore all of our options to find a solution to where we want to live and raise our family.

Since my husband got a dream job in Hollywood, we were set to move to LA, but soon afterwards, I realized this move was not congruent with my journey. So we began our discussions of what to do next. He didn't want to leave his project and I didn't want to leave the northwest.

After exhaustive discusions, long housing and neighborhood searches and connecting with our inner clarity, we have decided to continue to live in a state of temporary.

Yes, I know, all of life is temporary, but some choices are much shorter versions of temporary, while others are longer. The truth was, I was hoping for the longer version, but the universe has guided us and mysteriously gifted us with the perfect place to stay temporary over the next 6 months.

So I am pleased to announce that we have made the commitment to make a temporary choice.

Life is a complex web of choices and possibilities. The more your mind opens to them, the more complicated it is to sort through the data. Focus on your values and you might just find the solution to your most tangled challenges. Yes, it can be done, even when we are co-creating our reality with someone who values are not the same as yours. Yes, it CAN be done!

I am pleased that we are both choosing what we love, even if it is temporary, for that is where we will find our greatest joy... right here... right now.

Smiles and blessings,
Rain

An answer to Jude of where we are now...

JudeEastman~LifeCoach said...

OK--I'm a little behind from enjoying my rewarding-relaxing Big Island vacation.

Aren't you one of those people in my life that told me when the fear creeps in and we start to doubt our decisions or that we can "do it" that we are just about to make great strides forward and to keep the faith?

Not to say I know what's best for you and your family--The decision will come with crystal clarity whether to stay or go. All the plans already made don't matter at that point-Remember, "It's a brand new day at that point."

Love you Rain--this may all be a moot point by now.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thank you Jude :)

Yes, when fear creeps in, you can move forward and do it.

Only, this is not about fear. This is about not knowing what we truly want together.

We are talking about where we want to live and raise our children and make a living and what lifestyle we really want... and at what price.

I have to admit it has been a painful and amazingly expansive time. My husband and I are really getting to really know each other and our true values while we put the pieces together. It is amazing at how much you can still learn about each other after 13 years.

As of today, there are no decisions yet. We are just looking at what we would love to do and see if there is a possibility to co-create something new out of what we each love (which is very different) and happily put energy into it for the next few years.

I have faith that with this amazing man and our creative spirits we will design something perfect for us and our family.

Thank you for the opportunity to clarify where we are at.

Blessings to you today.
your friend,
Rain

Day 2 Emergency Plan

What do you do when the worst possible thing happens?
Do you allow yourself time to grieve, feel, process and regroup?

What do you do when you are fearful of the worst possible thing happening if you take a risk?
Do you spend every moment worrying, feeling unable to move and feeling the tension in your body?

I have a process that works for both called the
Day 2 Emergency Plan.

Here is how it works:

Write down the worst possible scenario that could happen if you take the risk you wish to take, or if the worst has already happened, acknowledge what has happened out loud to yourself or a very good friend.

Next write down your emergency plan which always starts on Day 1 with the most awesome pity party you have ever known. Write down the ways you will take care of YOU. On your actual Day 1, allow yourself to choose to do whatever you really want to do. Take a wellness day from work if possible. This includes wearing your favorite pajammas, eating whatever you want, buying yourself ease by take out, a babysitter and whatever else can give you time, buying yourself some flowers, a sad rental movie (allow yourself to cry, cry and cry some more) and a large box of dark chocolate. Spoil yourself with a day of extreme comfort.
Also make sure you give yourself extreme self care; take a nap, wear a favorite blanket (and feel a universal hug,) smell flowers, drink herbal tea, drink water whenever you can, take a nice slow walk outside and sit in a comfortable sunny spot, if you have it. Make no decisions about tomorrow, just feel, breathe and be.

Day 2 is a day to get back on your feet. Write out a plan of what you will do to take a step forward toward living your goals again. It might look like this:

• Take a shower
• Get dressed in successful clothes for the day
• Eat a healthy breakfast
• Brush teeth
  
• Return movie
• Give chocolates to a friend
• Make the calls you need to make
• Take at least one small step towards living the life you truly want
  
• Acknowledge your feelings and your courage
  

If the worst has sprung upon you, it is easy to make this list the morning of Day 2. Don't worry about it or work on it Day 1. Then use it throughout the day to move forward towards living. Don't underestimate the power of taking small steps, such as taking a shower. Any step, no matter how small is a step and is taking you where you want to be.

If you are prewriting your Day 2 Emergency Plan, tuck it away in your safe, your drawer, by your fire extinguisher or in your first aid kit. Know you have your plan, so there is no need to think about what will happen, just move forward anyway.

After all, it's when we move forward that our lives become the dreams we truly want. It is important to take breaks along the journey of your authentic trail to breathe and process. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is allow a whole day to acknowledge our humanness, while knowing we will get back up tomorrow, we aren't giving up...
we are just giving ourselves a gift of love.


Dedicated to all my friends who reached out to me when I needed it most....

It's 1:30 in the morning...

For the life of me, I can't sleep...
So much has been going on.

First the job in LA.
Then the plans to move to LA.
Then the incredible sadness of leaving WA.
Then the thought of maybe staying here in WA.
Then my husband thinking maybe staying here is the best thing for the kids.
Playing with the idea.

I guess the question is, 'What do we really want?'
My husband and I are famous for the inability to make decisions and then making huge sweeping decisions at the last minute.

Every Sunday is our 'So what do we want to do with our life?' day. This has gone on for 13 years. We have talked for hours while drinking way too much.
First it was bloody marys.
Then it was mimosas.
Then it was coffee.
Now I drink tea... sometimes, while my husband continues his love of coffee.

We have thought about all the possibilities for our life. We have explored all the wild choices this life has to offer. We think about our sweet boys and the impact of our decisions. We think about what we most desire. We write lists.
On white boards.
On notepads.
On the computer.
On napkins.

We enjoy the highs of making wild decisions.
When we actually and finally make them.
Then there is the maintenance of these decisions.

With the exception of our decision to be together and our decision to be parents.
We don't tend to be great at the maintenance part.

There is just always another decision waiting around the corner to think about.
This time instead of going for the big sweeping decision, I wait...
I wait...
I wait...
until the answer is either yes or no...

and here I am at 1:40 in the morning, sitting in my big, comfy chair, with my soft, warm blanket and I am just waiting...
Until I finally decide to go to bed.

When Life Changes, Wait on Decisions

Now that we are in motion for the upcoming move 1150 miles south of here, I am amazed as new thoughts, feelings, and decisions come into my view. It is so easy to get caught up in the drama, and it is just as easy to stay out of it. All of the upcoming decisions we have to make could be an easy source for stress and drama. You think and think and think into the future and wonder what is the best choice to make. I have done that in my life and I have learned an important key to keeping it simple:

Making decisions in the present time is the best time to make them!

Otherwise, the stress begins to form because you are making decisions without all the real time information. Soon, your mind will create false information to fill in the blanks until you reach that point in time, and you end up making pre-decisions based on assumption.

Let me give you an example:
One of the most common questions I get is, "Where are you going to move to in Los Angeles?" Since I have never lived there I do not have an honest answer to that. And if I did know the area, what if the kind of home we want isn't available at the time of our move?

This is where being in the here and now is such a gift during life changes. I know where I will live, because I will be faced with a home we have looked at in an area I feel good in. The decision will be there... in that moment. And there is only 2 choices to make, yes or no.

When faced with a yes or no decision in the moment life is happening, it is so much easier to look at all the information you have up until that point, trust your inner guidance and move forward with your decision.

Decisions no longer become long month or year long dramas, they simply are moments in your life. The best part is how much more time it gives me here in the northwest, where I am currently making decisions for the upcoming birthday party of my soon-to-be-8 year old.

That is right now and that is where I love to live.

So many emotions, so little time...

Since the big news, and taking steps towards leaving (selling the boat, buying another hybrid car, renting the house, having a going away party for Charlie) I have been having a lot of emotions. I have been:
Happy
Excited
Scared
Confused
Sad

These feelings seem to come moment to moment. Instead of trying to keep a smile on my face and continue to tell myself everything is going to be okay, I am allowing the feelings to come and show themselves. I may be excited one minute, cry the next, smile after that, then talk about my fears and about missing our life here in the northwest.

I notice that there are so many passing emotions, thoughts and reactions, and since I am not holding any judgments to them, they are passing by in seconds. I am not attaching who I am to what I feel.

So many of us are afraid of being authentic and feeling what we are feeling in the moment for fear it will grow into something too big to handle. When you allow your feelings without judging yourself afterward, you let go of the story and there is no drama or analysis... it just is.

For example, when I talk about my fear of dealing with the high population of a big city, I don't attach the judgments "I am a big baby!" "Why do you say such ridiculous things?" "You will never be able to handle all the noise, you can't handle anything!" or "You have to figure out a way to stop this move!"

Instead, I just notice the feeling of fear. Recognize it as normal and natural and feel it. When the fear seems to take on physical pain, I stop what I am doing and feel it even deeper. Let it come through me like a shock wave. Once I do, I notice it leave me. I watch it dissipate.

If I go with the stories and judgments, I get caught up in another reality. The reality in my head, instead of my heart. Our thoughts can take over and prolong the suffering of emotions. We make our feelings more important than the moment and watch the story go on for a full length movie or even a mini-series or life-long soap opera.

If you begin to notice a story taking over, just take a deep breath to create a break in the action. Go into your body and feel what is happening in there. Let go of your thoughts and stay with the feelings in the now.

The here and now is where you will find freedom. For that is all we have.

Everything else is purely for entertainment purposes only.

New Move... Big Changes!

It's time to share with you all what is going on at home here.

While I was innocently on my 2-week non-computer retreat, my husband went out and used his amazing energy to find an opportunity and his dream job.

As I was driving home with the kids and only 4 hours to go from the sunny beaches in Santa Cruz, he shared the news. "We're moving to Hollywood!"

Yes, after living and very much loving the northwest for the past 13 years, we are moving from our small town of only 10,000 residence to Los Angeles, CA one of the biggest cities in the US with a population of 3,834,340! (and that is just in the city's huge limits, the county limits is almost to 10 million!) It is something to wrap our brains around...

It has been a few days with a whirlwind of amazing connections, flow and ease...
The kids are excited.
My husband is excited.
Even I am excited.

There are a few things that are keeping me on Rescue Remedy:
1. My husband is leaving soon... next week and will be down there 3 months before we all move down officially. Even though he will be visiting us and we will come down to visit him, this will be the longest my husband and I have been apart since we have met.

2. Leaving the cool, beautiful and green forest we live in to be in the small dry plots and high population of the hot and sunny city. The trails, the quiet, the serenity of living here is such a gift. My kids love to play in the woods and build forts and create games of amazing outdoor invention. It will be serious culture shock!

3. Smog. I have always been sensitive to it and I love the clean air on the coast of the northwest. There will be a huge adjustment here of relaxing and letting go...

4. Safety. I know there is no such thing as real security... but we don't have dangerous parts of town around here. I let my 10-year old walk to town (an hour long walk) with a friend without worry. This will also be a huge shift and I am actually curious to see how I feel when I am there. Right now, I can't imagine it.

The truth is, those are the only stresses for us as we look towards this new adventure! So we have decided to go for it. We have decided to move to Los Angeles.

My husband will be working in Hollywood, where he can see premeres for new movies right across the street. Where will we actually move to and live? Well I just don't know for sure yet....
If you know of a family friendly, relatively quiet neighborhood that won't be a huge commute from Hollywood.... put your vote in here!

Meanwhile what does this mean for Authentic Times, Inc.?
I will be slowing down for awhile (I guess that is why I was on retreat...) I will still be coaching, editing and doing the peace treaty classes, just less of it as we transition through the move.

Here is to change, courage and our new adventure!!!

Listening to the Voices

Okay, I admit it! Sometimes, I doubt the universe will provide. As I continue to move forward and I do what I love, every once in a while a voice pops into my head that says,

"You are living in a dream world! Life is not a dream and you have to be rational and practical."

Do you know that voice? When you begin walking on your authentic path, this voice is LOUD! There is a real fear of the unknown.

However, as I have been on my true authentic path for the past 3 years, I have actual evidence that living a life that is from your heart and spirit can and does work, although not always as we first might believe it should. Lol!

So when that voice continues to whisper in my ear and flashes of doubt soon fill my head, I can immediately go into "hopeless."

However! I have discovered a beautiful trick that works and I want to share with you today.

When the voice is talking to you with fear, simply listen and sit with the discomfort without judgment. The most important thing is to let the voice be HEARD as you would hear a child.

As I continue to work with The Peace Treaty, I am becoming more conscious of these voices being children. They are us as children, who have become quite bossy and think they know best. However, they speak out of fear and as we all do when we are feeling fear, they just want to be heard.

So next time you hear the voice telling you, "You are foolish and living a dream!" don't fight it or try to put it out of your mind. Decide to listen fully as a kind, loving and wise adult without judgment. When the voice is done talking you might say and say with gratitude in your heart, "Yes, I hear you. It does seem scary. I am the brave adult now, who is ready to take that risk!"

Courage and joy,
Rain

Time For Play

There are many studies out that show how play is extremely important for children's development.

I am here to share that play is extremely important for EVERYONE'S development.

The idea that we stop developing is a theory that I do not subscribe to. We develop as long as we are open to it. As long as we continue to try new things, take new risks, and explore our universe, we will develop our minds, bodies and spirits.

It is only when you decide you know it all.
It is only when you decide you are too old to learn.
It is only when you decide you are too tired to do anything new.
It is only when you decide...

So for today, I ask that you RISK everything you have planned for the day and PLAY!

Play like a child without worry or guilt and explore what happens when you stop living life by the rules YOU have created.

Have a blessed day!

Inspiring for Energy

The best way to relax your energy down or raise your energy up is as simple as one word.

That word is:

BREATHE

You may think this is an over-simplification. Yes, most of the best things in life are simple. Let’s take a deeper look at what we do when we breathe.

We inhale and exhale.

We inspire and expire.

How many of us truly pay attention to our breathing pattern? It is an automatic function of our body to keep us alive, yet when we take a deep breath into our belly, something shifts inside us. Take three or more deep breaths and slowly watch your whole world begin to look differently. Why is this?

In Hatha yoga classes the instructors will begin and end with deep breathing exercises. You breathe deeply at the beginning of the class to increase oxygen flow to the muscles and brain and to aide in energy flow of your body. You breathe deeply at the end to calm your muscles and brain and to aide in relaxation and meditation during the corpse pose.

Your breath is extremely powerful if using it is a way to create both energy levels in your body by breath alone! Some might say it is the spirit that lives within us!

How can you use this same technique to create the energy before a challenging day as well as the relaxation desired at the end of the day? I would like to tell you it’s simple to do. Of course if that were true, everyone would be doing it and we know that they don’t and many of us don’t either.

No, there is something else a bit deeper that stops people from breathing for health, relaxation and energy. The reason is a natural reaction and everyone does it. We do it without thinking. We do it and it goes unnoticed by any doctor, friend, and family member. It is a “secret” of sorts that no one really seems to talk about.

We stop breathing when we think life might not be worth living.

What?! I hear the defenses going up. Before you stop reading… let me explain.

What do you do when you hear bad news? What do you do if you think you might fall? What do you do when you feel the negative past “experiences” might possibly be up for a rerun? What do you do when you feel any lower energy emotional feeling? Start noticing and you will see.

You… Hold… Your… Breath… ... .. .. . .

It is an instinct. It stops time and life for a moment for us to think and process. The minute we realize there is some possibility worth living for, we start to breathe.

The reason might be just for the excitement of the negative drama (yes we love them, don’t we?), for the love of a fight, just to see what will happen next, for the realization that we will survive… we will be okay… we will be just fine… then it happens… huuuuuuuhhhhhh…. we inhale… we inspire.

Whether or not you decide to start your own personal study of when you breathe, it’s easy to notice that breathing is an act of life. Will you choose life? And what kind of life will you choose?

a shallow life

a quick life

a hurried life

an excited life

an out-of-control life

a slow life

a deep life

a full belly life

a thoughtful life

or a rhythmic life

The most beautiful thing is that you get to choose by the practice of your breathing pattern. It really works and you can use your breath to get through any challenging situation with confidence and the energy you never thought you had!

Breathe for high energy. Stand confidently tall as you relax your shoulders and body. Take a deep breath in your nose and allow your diaphragm to move out, expanding your belly. Next, exhale out your mouth and notice your belly contracting back in. Breathe into your belly again in just 4 seconds and this time imagine a pure white light is coming in filled with buzzing, joyful energy. Hold your breath for 4 seconds as the tired and old energy mixes into your lungs. Exhale out in just 4 seconds and imagine all of that old, tired and heavy energy is leaving you. Breathe in this fast way at least 5 times and feel your world power up!

Breathe to lower energy. Sit in a relaxed way as you take a deep breath in through your nose, again into your belly and out your mouth. Breathe into your belly again slowly working to slow yourself down to an 6-8-second inhale and this time imagine wisdom coming into the breath to serve you. Hold your breath for only 2-3 seconds as you absorb the wisdom of the ages. Breathe out slowly for 8 seconds as you let go of all the stress of the moment. Wait for 2-4 seconds between breaths. One of these will relax you and can be done in any stressful moment.

Just remember staying in awareness and noticing if you stop breathing is a practice. Be kind to yourself! As with learning any new instrument, it takes practice to begin and a decade to master. Start now and watch your inspired life begin!

Copyright 2009 Rain Fordyce

excerpt from her now FREE magazine, http://AuthenticTimes.com